The Victorian era has a reputation for demanding, and seemingly peculiar, requirements in the area of social etiquette. Etiquette books abounded, and magazines ran plenty of articles on the topic. But in most cases we will find that the "rules" of etiquette are the basic rules of kindness, tact and consideration. Knowing how to deploy one's fan would always be secondary to knowing how to put another person at their ease or how to avoid an unpleasant topic of conversation.

Croakers (Cassell's Family Paper, 1859)

A look at folks who are constant complainers.

Points of Etiquette (Peterson's Magazine, 1865)

Social Lectures: On Swells, by Lewis Hough (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1875)

Whether you prefer to call them swells, bloods or dandies, this tongue-in-cheek article explains how to become one if you aren't "born" one.

On the Art of Giving Presents (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1878)

A Word on Easy Attainments, by Rev. W.M. Statham (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1879)

Basically an argument that worthy attainments involve hard work, while "easy" attainments can be seriously irritating!

Etiquette for All Classes, by Sophia F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1882)

Etiquette "denotes the whole collection of laws by which, in all countries... 'polite society' is inexorably governed... certain rules which may appear very trifling are the natural offspring of the highest and noblest feelings."

Etiquette for Gentlemen (Collier's Cyclopedia, 1882)

Golden Rules of Etiquette (Collier's Cyclopedia, 1882)

Some brief rules of etiquette for nearly every occasion, from boat rides to baptisms.

"Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother" (Girl's Own Paper, 1885)

In this series, the author looks at some of the questions sent to the magazine's editors -- and wonders why young ladies are asking strangers the questions they would have once asked their mothers!

A Word to the Wise, by S.F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1882)

The importance of courtesy toward shop-girls.

Etiquette for "Our Brothers," by Sophia F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1883)

On the importance of chivalry, honor and courtesy on the part of the male...

Some Hints on Giving Presents (Girl's Own Paper, 1883)

Tips on choosing the right gift, with suggestions about suitability and economy.

On Letting Off the Steam, by the Rev. Professor W.G. Blaikie (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1884)

A piece on ways to harmlessly vent one's emotions, with a number of interesting historical examples (including Queen Victoria "declaring war on China").

Good Breeding as Shown in Visiting the Poor, by S.F.A. Caulfeild (Girl's Own Paper, 1885)

This article makes an interesting distinction between upper-class poor (e.g., untitled gentry) and working-class poor. Being aware of these differences is important in determining just how to call upon a person without giving offense!

The Right Thing at the Right Moment (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1885)

Tips on having the best of manners at all times.

Practical Etiquette: On Making Introductions, by Florence Howe Hall (Demorest, 1888)

"Since the rise and alarming spread of Anglomania in [America], there has been a strong effort made... to introduce English manners here, and especially those English customs which favor exclusiveness... Those of the old school... argue... that we do not need to slavishly imitate the customs of another nation whose conditions differ so essentially from ours."

A Chat on Good Nature (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1890)

Punctuality (Girl's Own Paper, 1890)

Uninteresting People (Girl's Own Paper, 1891)

If one dismisses others as "uninteresting," this author suggests, one runs the risk of being considered so oneself in one's later years!

Little Ways, by Ivor Merle (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1892)

"It is the 'little ways' that are really so provoking, the pins of faults that prick so hard." Here are some examples of provoking little ways, and how to avoid them!

Civility, by Edward John Hardy (Argosy, 1893)

As Others See Us, by Ivor Merle (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1894)

How we might behave if we were aware of how we were seen by others (including the servants and "foreigners").

The Art of Hand-Shaking (Cassell's Family Magazine, 1895)

The firm, the lackadaisical, the demonstrative, the trifling... In other words, how not to do it!

A Social Sign of the Time (Ladies Home Journal, 1896)

"Old-time gallantry and chivalry are gradually passing away."

To Be a Social Success, by Ruth Ashmore (Ladies Home Journal, 1896)

The Vulgarity of Super-Refinement, by Charlotte O'Conor Eccles (Windsor Magazine, 1896A)

"Super-refinement is to good manners what prudery is to modesty. Both imply a lurking doubt of oneself, both result in exaggeration... The super-refined cultivate their manners not wisely but too well..."

Our Brothers and Sisters (Girl's Own Paper, 1901)

Since boys don't read girls' magazines, "There is no use my writing here, 'My dear fellows, what are you thinking about in letting your sisters fetch and carry for you like that, and expecting them always to give in to your will and pleasure?'"

Books of Etiquette, by Leonard Larkin (The Strand, 1903A)

A humorous look at some of the more obvious, or ridiculous, bits of advice in contemporary books of etiquette.